Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
