how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
