She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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