Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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