So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
