Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
