"it" just moved
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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