I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
