you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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