therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
