I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
