im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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