I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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