dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
