My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
