if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
There are leaves in my underwear?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
