You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
