How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
