Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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