she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
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