sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i've created a new STD.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Randomize
