my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
