I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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