marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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