My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
