I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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