Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
