some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
