I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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