and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
