Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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