don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
