no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
