After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
