chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
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