He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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