How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
