I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
