she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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