erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
