She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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