oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Couch. On fire.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
