farters have to be the big spoon...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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