It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
