Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she pinky promised me she was 18
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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