I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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