But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
