I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
