we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
