Sry I called you an 8
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
