Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
