And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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