His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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