WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
